men b like wow I’ve never met a girl who liked music before..
You obviously know nothing about men if this is what you think they say
Men will see a mouse and eat it
No they won’t because why would anyone eat a mouse that’s stupid not all men are bad and not all men are stupid you may have had a bad experience with a man but not all men are bad granted there bad men but instantly accusing all men as bad is immature I’m dating a man and he is nowhere near stupid and I know for a fact that he won’t eat a mouse and in pretty sure I could name at least five other men that won’t do something as immature as that and saying that a man will see a mouse and eat it won’t get you a anywhere with a man if anything it will drive them away.
A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer
three fun and sexy facts about me: 1.) i have a slight fructose intolerance which manifests itself mostly in me getting violently ill whenever i eat garlic. 2.) i have “delayed phased sleep disorder” aka my body wants to sleep during the day and stay up at night. 3. i am extremely sensitive to sunlight and cannot be in direct sunlight for more than like five minutes without getting burned or overheated.
extra bonus fun and sexy fact: the one and only time i stepped foot in a catholic church, someone spilled hot coffee on me and i got a bad burn on my chest and had to leave before the service started
unrelated: i think i might start taking classes to become a phlebotomist
wait i gotta google something
yeah this is funny
To be fair to that last point, that kills just about everyone.
Op i would like an interview
only if it’s homoerotic
[ID: tags reading “I bet OP would die if you stabbed them in the heart with a wooden stake too”/end ID]
Hey op my long-lost twin! I’ve got the fructose thing too (various high FODMAP foods trigger my gust issues), I also have delayed sleep phase disorder and am naturally kinda nocturnal, and while I don’t burn much I do overheat very easily and I get a sunlight allergy rash (PLE) every late spring/early summer.
Yeah you’re right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.
isolating the vocals on the last verse of Once In A Lifetime reveal many dark secrets
fyi that rough cut right in the middle of a “same as it ever was” isn’t my doing, that’s in the actual mix, somebody apparently needed to stitch that last bit together right in the middle of a word
David Byrne hanging out in his basement doing his laundry
Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!
Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It’s me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here’s the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.
Modern writing advice: Yes your protagonist should have flaws but ultimately we should root for them and like them from the beginning :)
Charles Dickens: Here is the worst ugliest rudest meanest nastiest bitch you’ve ever met in your life.
Modern writing advice: Make sure your POV character goes through a significant arc! Make sure they are changed by the narrative! Make sure they learn a lesson!
Narrators of every book of the 19th century: the lesson I learned is these people fucking suck, sayonara you freaks
Modern writing advice: It’s all about the character overcoming obstacles and learning! They learn their lesson so they can fix their mistakes and make good choices in the future! It’s a character arc! It’s called growth! Readers love it!
Everyone from ancient times through the 19th century: would you like to watch a Guy fuck up twenty times in a row